am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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