ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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