I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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