took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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