Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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