North Korea, Best Korea!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
