There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
