Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize