I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
