It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
