Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
