We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The struggles of a small town man whore
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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