I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
