Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
