why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
