Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize