Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize