belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
