the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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