I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
