Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
