He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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