a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
