All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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