Just fell off a train. Bad.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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