I have demons in me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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