Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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