This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
