i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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