Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
