I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
