who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
