I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
