big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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