Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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