He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
