Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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