I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
only if we run a train.
done.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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