is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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