shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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