Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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