is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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