hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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