We're like a lot better than the average bears
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
