One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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