No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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