then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
