They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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