You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
