woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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