So drunk, too bad you don't want this
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
