Buhtt sex?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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