i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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