You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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