sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Randomize
