Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
