I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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