I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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