Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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