wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cockslap morals
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
