Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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