please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
