I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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