things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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