After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize