i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I look better un-naked...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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