In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
